Have you gathered your pitchforks? Put them away! We’re pro volunteering, we swear! Volunteering makes this world a sweeter place to live and we strive to encourage giving hearts in our children. BUT (you knew there was a but), sometimes we feel like the butt of some cosmic PTA joke because nothing is ever simple.
Erin: Some sweet lady. . .
Ellen: Yeah right. More like a PTA pitbull in disguise.
Erin: Anyway, some caring mom ropes you into just one simple task . . .
Ellen: And wham, bam, punk you Ma’am; you’re teaching fifty fifth graders how to craft origami roosters with their eyes closed.
Erin: I wish what I got snookered into was THAT simple.
6 Ways the PTA Punked Us
Erin: I’ll go first.
1. When we first moved to Maryland from Maine, I joined the local MOMS Club. With three kids under three, I was in a desperate, weakened state. So when one of the other moms asked me to host an event for the group, I said yes: ANYTHING for adult conversation. One problem: having never actually been to an event, I had no idea she was basically just asking me to host a playdate at my house. I organized a Teddy Bear Picnic to end all picnics. There were teddy bear snacks and teddy bear crafts AND it was held at our local nature center. It was a little over the top and I was president in less than a year.
2. I raised my hand to help pick up the cabbages for an annual dinner our school hosts. Before I knew it, I was negotiating contracts with local wholesalers, coordinating the pickup and drop-off of over a hundred cabbage heads, AND THEN spending the better part of a week steaming said cabbages. The aroma that clung to my clothes, hair, and soul was just a bonus.
3. I filled in for a sick Cub Scout den leader one week. Within a year, I was up to my eyeballs in scout stuff not only as the den leader, but as the committee chair as well.
Ellen: I know it’s my turn to list my three, but I “got nothin’.” I always go into things with eyes wide open. For example, I know I always stressed out over yearbook deadlines, but that was more because of my flawed personality than a volunteer punking. I knew what the job entailed, I just never saw a deadline I didn’t like to push.
Erin: Oh really, Miss “Eyes Wide Open”? Three words: Vacation. Bible. School.
Ellen: What? Just because the church placed an ad in a major paper, unbeknownst to me, that led to a surprising 20% increase in enrollment? Just because my volunteers were stretched paper thin BEFORE the lice outbreak fiasco descended upon us? Just because everyone loses their mind at the mere whisper of “lice”?
Yeah, I was punked. But it doesn’t really count because it wasn’t the PTA.
Erin: Well, my Scout example wasn’t the PTA either. As a matter of fact, the Teddy Bear Picnic doesn’t really fit either.
Ellen: We are doing a terrible job of proving the PTA is a scourge. This post should be “6-ish Minus 3 Ways the PTA Punked Us.”
Erin: You know who does a fantastically funny job of roasting the PTA? Jen Mann in her new book “People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots and Other Suburban Scourges.”
Ellen: Oh my goodness, her chapter about the school carnival is hilarious! But this book is so much more than a roast. I have a little secret. I often have a hard time making it through comedy type chapter books because they are choppy and I am not a fan of the short story genre. I love to read blogs, but I like my books to be real books. I like depth, breadth, and length.
Erin: That’s what she said.
Ellen: I had no problem being pulled through this book because there was a cohesive narrative thread that reminded me of the writings of Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling. I couldn’t wait to see what tale the next chapter would tell. It felt on the whole like a mildly satirized autobiography, not blog posts stuck together.
And you are in luck because it is on sale today! We were lucky enough to get advanced copies, but we’ve already bought more for our sister-in-laws and other people we think highly of (you will know who are soon!).
Get your copy of People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
on Amazon right now!
And all kidding aside, go volunteer for your own PTA-type organization today. Not only are you enriching your kids’ educations, you’re earning your stripes and gathering a lifetime of anecdotes. Maybe you can write your own book one day.
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Cannot wait to read that book! And yeah, my kids are small enough that I am pre-PTA days but I definitely find myself roped into all kinds of strange volunteer assignments just because I showed up.
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Showing up is halfway there to being punked. 😉 Ellen
I feel like a heroic volunteer some days and I’m all for PTA. BUT THIS! Yes! And Jen’s tales make it all that more entertaining.
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Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone in the “Dumb Things I Said I’d Do for the PTA” club.
I also loved Jen’s book, soo hilarious!
Anna ~ Random Handprints recently posted..Who knew a description of a gallon of milk could be so hilarious?
My daughter just started kindergarten so I just joined the PTA. Now I am scared….
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